Ironing blues
It’s a well documented fact the differences between men and women go beyond the obvious features of anatomy. For instance, men have a sense of direction and an ability to park between the white lines that are painted on the road.
Women are much more competent than men when it comes to ironing. I’ve been reflecting on this lately as I rediscover the trials of being a bachelor.
Juliet will arrive in Kalgoorlie-Boulder with the kids later this month. Meanwhile I’m cooking, cleaning and fending for myself as I haven’t had to do for 15 years.
I left home when I was 19, but rather sneakily took my laundry to mum for quite a few years afterward.
I don’t have a problem with washing; that’s fairly straightforward. I can even hang the clothes on the line and I usually remember to take them down again. The part of this process that totally stumps me is ironing.
Sure, I can make the iron hot and press it down on the apparel. For some reason though creases appear where they shouldn’t and don’t appear where they should.
God was pretty good at anticipating the skills which man would need to survive in a hostile world, but I can’t blame Him for getting this wrong. Irons weren’t required in the Garden of Eden.
Throughout history they haven’t exactly been must-have items either. Caveman came home from a hard day hunting buffalo and threw off his bearskin while Cavewoman knocked the top off a coconut.
Knights in the Middle Ages needed metalworkers more than a linen press. Peasants living in peat bogs and hovels were happy just to have a shirt on their backs.
So it’s really a modern phenomenon that irons are necessary tools of life.
Man’s thumb is apparently evolving to manipulate today’s electronic gadgets, but for some reason the genetic imprint that controls ironing has only been acquired by women.
The other aspects of being a bachelor aren’t too bad. There seems to be a lot of us around.
On my weekly shopping expedition I see a greater number of men in the aisles than elsewhere I’ve shopped.
The giveaway of a single bloke is the trolley full of frozen meals.
I'm a 41-year-old father of four working as a newspaper editor at Mount Gambier in South Australia.
February 4th, 2006 at 8:09 pm
From the look of you it was before your time, but a TV add once taught me how to iron a shirt (or so it claimed). Yoke, back, arms, front then collar. The theory is that people see the front and collar so if you crease the yoke while ironing them it doesn’t matter too much.
But my wife (who doesn’t follow the rules) still does a better job than I do.
February 4th, 2006 at 11:37 pm
Ironing 100% cotton shirts is dead easy, but polyester is a nightmare! (It doesn’t look and feel as good either)
February 9th, 2006 at 6:55 am
This morning I wetted a clean sock — to provide some moisture — and threw it in the dryer with three shirts that needed “ironed.”
It didn’t leave any creases, naturally, but it did get the wrinkles out. It may use a bit more electricity than an iron … but it does a good job in a pinch.
Like you, my skills when it comes to using a real iron are somewhat limited.
I can parallel park.
February 9th, 2006 at 12:58 pm
A little hint from a girl, if you spin dry them less, and hang them on coathangers while they are dripping, they will still need ironing, well a little anyway, but will dry in a wearable condition.
Just wear a tie with the short sleeves, nobody will notice you are unironed. They’ll be too busy tut tutting inwardly at your fashion faux pas.
February 10th, 2006 at 9:29 pm
Thanks for all the tips. I’ve been advised there’s a laundromat that does ironing in addition to washing (thanks David from ABC). I think that’s the way to go!
February 14th, 2006 at 9:18 pm
It’s a pity about the website Michael but, in your position, it’s understandable that this medium could be seen to conflict with the medium in which you’re employed and therefore you’re limited as to the topics you can cover here.
You’re welcome to raise and/or discuss them on http://www.alpineopinion.com though, as you know. Being mainly concerned about issues in northeast Victoria (a million miles from Kalgoorlie) it’s probably pretty safe to participate. I hope you, and many of your followers do just that. Good luck.
February 16th, 2006 at 2:35 pm
Message for Juliet…What a coup! Whilst I am sure you and the family are missing Michael dearly…the upside is by the time you get there he will be able to wash and iron his own shirts! Fortunately (or regretably) I learnt to iron early in life at 18 when I joined the Army and would say that I am a better ironer than my wife, but I am never going to tell her that ever….I reckon I have had blown up 15 irons in the past 25 years….and I think the cheap ones are as good as the dear ones. Tip. Always use clean water in the iron and remove after use.
February 16th, 2006 at 5:28 pm
Yes, always use clean water but it should be PREVIOUSLY BOILED (To remove mineral traces that can clog the iron and stain your clothes!)