The stapler
The stapler can be a weapon of mass destruction if applied with malicious intent. It should not be allowed on aeroplanes.
The stapler is controlled by a malevolent spirit, possibly the same demon responsible for socks and pens.
The curse of the insidious stapler is that it fails to serve its purpose in times of acute need. Sure, it pins papers together when you don’t really need them, but in times of administrative crisis the stapler goes missing. Examples:
- You need to staple 30 pages together, but the flimsy plastic stapler on your desk barely chews through half of them;
- Conversely, you employ a heavy-duty metal stapler to join 100 sheets together and it leaves a mini cannon sticking out the other side;
- When you’re in a hurry, the stapler inevitably runs out of staples.
I’m frequently in a rush, but I also have quiet moments, and I can never recall a stapler running out of staples in one of those. In peak times, not only do you run out of staples, but you can’t find any new ones. Staplers are cursed.
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