The twins are crawling now and Juliet asked me to get them some baby knee pads. I tried the baby section at Target without success.

Then I went to the baby section of a large pharmacy, again without success. The shop assistant looked at me as though I was a nutter, but she kindly suggested I try Oke’s Nursery and Toy Centre down the road.

This visit was also fruitless and the shop assistant implied she had never heard of knee pads for crawling.

I improvised by purchasing some sweat bands from a sport store and I’m sure they will do the job. But doubting my sanity as to whether crawling pads actually exist, a Google search revealed dozens of such products in various shapes and sizes.

This knowledge has somehow failed to filter through to the provincial backwater of Wodonga.