I went to the dentist today for the first time in about four years with a broken filling I want fixed.
He found three other broken fillings while he was poking around. I’m going back in two weeks to have all of them done at once.
Two of them are the top front teeth. If I recall correctly, the needle in the gum hurts more there than elsewhere.
Those fillings were done more than 25 years ago, so it was probably inevitable I’d be facing this problem today.
The dentist thought so anyway; he suggested I get crowns or caps on the old fillings.
I don’t like visiting dentists. I’m sure some of them are lovely people, albeit rich ones. Their service is better than having someone cut or pull a tooth out as they used to in the old days, but I don’t like it.
This dentist had a fisherman bring him a crab while I was in the waiting room.
“How is he going to get that home on the plane?” the receptionist asked.
The fisherman was unperturbed. The dentist had asked for a crab.
I don’t know if the crab was dead or alive.
The dentist flies up from Melbourne, but used to live in Mount Gambier, the same street we live on, he told me.
He couldn’t stop sneezing.
“Relax,” he kept telling me.
That wasn’t easy given my phobia of dentists and the fact he kept sneezing.
“Is he washing his hands?” I kept thinking as he blew his nose every 20 seconds.
As it was, he just poked around, discovering holes, and didn’t actually do anything.
The dental nurse couldn’t understand the dentist as he rattled off notes in code. “D2,” he said. “Is that B?” she asked.
“Four fillings,” the dentist said triumphantly after his inspection.
“There’s more than that,” the nurse said, so dentist had to repeat D in Chinese-accented English while the nurse asked if that was “B for boot”.
Why are so many Australian dentists of Asian origin? Is it in their genes, like how Norwegians can drink a bottle of vodka and not fall over?
When I stood to leave I noticed a puddle of water on the floor, which I pointed out to the dentist lest he think I had suffered an unfortunate accident.
I left them puzzling over that while I went back to the waiting room.
The receptionist wanted me to come back next Friday, but that’s Gold Cup race day in Mount Gambier, the gala event on the town’s social calendar.
It was a toss up for me between sitting for 45 minutes in a dental chair or drinking champagne at the racecourse.
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I just loved reading about your visit to the dentist Michael. I laughed so hard the banana I was eating changed direction.
Why is it that dentists always ask you important questions while they have their hands in your mouth? Not the best moment to think about where that hand has been before you opened your mouth either, especially if you have a phobia about sloppy hygiene habits.
The crab in the waiting room did it for me.
Great story Michael, you have made my day!
Twitter: mgorey
says:
Thanks Ebony. I find visiting the dentist somewhat traumatic, so all the peripheral noise made it seem quite surreal.
This may not be suitable for general publication but that all reminded me of a Kevin Bloody Wilson calendar I saw back in 1988.
KBW is sitting, grinning, in a dentist’s chair and is holding the amazed dentist (through his pants) by the gonads. The caption is a quote of KBW saying, “We’re not going to hurt each other..are we mate?”
Our dentists and doctors are all apparently Chinese because…I think we just notice them more. At least those of us past 40 do. In 20 more years, the next generation won’t even see them as Chinese.
I’ve been grievously preoccupied but I’m trying to get back to the bloggery. I must say I was going to comment on your blog a couple of times but the comment system is often unpassable and I’ve had to give up!
Twitter: mgorey
says:
Welcome back again Retarius. Sometimes I think I’m fighting a lose battle against comment spam, so I try different things, some of which obviously have an unforeseen downside.
A photographer I worked with at Kalgoorlie was a friend of KBW.
What if you sneeze while the dentist is putting in your braces?
Dentist Melbourne
The patient could be advised to swallow hard, followed by a purgative chaser…interests of Occupational Health Hazard insurance cover for Chinese Dentist.