I caught up with a friend and former colleague via Facebook recently. Let’s call her JL.
JL is one of those people you love to be working with. She brings out the best in people, professionally and socially.
Beneath her laconic exterior lurks a cutting wit.
JL was the keeper of a book in which she scribbled “quotable quotes” and “memorable moments”.
The book must be nearly 25 years old now, and I feature in some of its pages from 1988 to 1990.
JL sent me some samples this week. Most of them I wouldn’t like to publish here, but some are okay for mainstream consumption.
May 2, 1988:
Michael Gorey’s first day at The Times.
Customer: “And how long have you been working here?”
Michael: “I only started … er … recently.”
(Actually it was four hours earlier).
June 22, 1988:
Kate, Aurora and JL have massaged Michael’s shoulders to ascertain who is the best at it.
Michael: “With you three massaging I’ll probably have bruised shoulders tonight. Whatever happened to the gentle approach?”
CC (astounded): “The genital approach!”
Note: CC was the editor.
August 31, 1988:
CC and Michael try to convince Kate to become a nun. Kate steadfastly refuses, declaring her interest in marrying.
Michael: “How will you be able to serve Christ if you’re having it off with a strange man?”
Kate: “He won’t be strange if I’m married to him.”
CC: “He will be the first time.”
Kate (pensively): “I s’pose that’s right!”
Note: Kate was a born again Christian, now happily divorced and living in Queensland.
October 3, 1988:
JL and Michael discuss submitting stories to magazines.
Michael: “When I go to Tasmania I might take a camera and get a few shots of anything interesting.”
Julianne: “Yes, do a couple of little colour stories.”
Michael: “No, I’ll probably take black and white.”
October 21, 1988:
JL patiently listens to Michael as he describes the new ABC girl (Virginia) and her over-developed bust.
JL: “She’ll suffocate you Michael.”
MG: “That’s what I’m hoping JL.”
November 3, 1988:
Michael: “Virginia’s part Jewish (pause) … I don’t know which part.”
December 5, 1988:
CC telling Michael about a woman who wants to sue the paper for something he wrote about her in the People column: “I don’t think she likes you very much.”
January 10, 1989:
Michael walks into the room: “Where’s Bhagwan (CC)?”
JL: I don’t know. He’s probably in David’s (manager’s) office watching the cricket.”
MG: “No he’s not. That’s where I was.”
