Wee master James

Baby James is a wee master. There’s no doubt about it.

I’m not a frequent nappy changer, but I know enough after two kids previously that you can avoid being sprayed while attending to babies’ personal hygiene.

But James is smart. So far I’ve fallen for his sucker punch about half the times I’ve changed him. His cute little baby face and still-receded hairline inspire a false sense of security.

Just when you’re busy on the finer detail he takes aim and fires the missile.

Travelling to Wangaratta on Tuesday he got me all over my jeans and only deft footwork saved my shirt as his fountain reached higher in an impressive arc.

He’s taken some big scalps in his short lifetime.

The first thing James did upon being pulled into the world was wee on the doctor responsible.

He dampened two midwives at Wodonga Hospital before collecting the paediatrician, who conceded James’ greatness in this unique field of endeavor.

“You’d think I would know enough to avoid this happening by now,” said the 50-year-old doctor who’s seen 20 infants a day for the last 26 years.

Who knows where this acquired skill will lead? His marksmanship is uncanny, so perhaps archery or shooting, or maybe it’s a sign that he has excellent co-ordination.

We’ve told him already that he has to be a golfer or tennis player to support us in old age.There’s no way we’ll be saving much between now and retirement!

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