The Lazy Journalist’s Plane Story Generator
Courtesy of Aussie Bloggers Forum, this story generator is a bit of fun:
Adelaide passengers told of their terror aboard a Melbourne bound Qantas flight which was required to return to Adelaide yesterday due to large bits falling off.
Some passengers were distraught that the 309 passengers were told few details of the catastrophe.
They said the plane “porpoised like a dolphin chasing small fish” before turning around.
As a precaution, fire trucks were on standby when the Airbus Concorde landed.
Passenger Bob Kobb last night was still recovering from the ordeal.
“I wasn’t so much worried for myself, but for my children losing their only parent,” the passenger said.
Quite topical given the recent Qantas flight losing bits in mid air over the Philippines.
What would I do if I could?
I’ve had trouble getting motivated to write here for a while. It’s not that I’ve been unproductive or away from the computer … the main reason is probably that I’m spending a lot of time updating content on The Border Watch website.
I’d love to be logging on here telling you about my latest adventure; that I’m half way through cycling the silk road, currently drinking a refreshing cup of yak’s milk in Kyrgyzstan.
Alas, it is nose to the grindstone stuff. Read more
Hot blood and cold nights
We’ve had two frosty nights in a row and I’ve had two of my best sleeps in weeks. I don’t think it’s a coincidence.
I must be hot blooded or I have a hot body (puns galore) because I regularly overheat during the night.
By that I mean I can feel my body heat rising. If it gets too much I wake up and need a drink of water and sometimes I have trouble getting back to sleep.
I like to sleep liberated, without fabric intrusions close to my person (yep, in the birthday suit). I find it’s better for the body clock to fumble for the electric blanket on a cold morning than to wake up hot and thirsty.
Collecting bras for busty Fijians
As an editor I’m rather fond of quirky stories. I think newspaper readers like to be entertained, as well as informed.
Collecting bras for Fijian women is quirky and interesting. In fact, it just occurred to me that Sue will like this story.
Millicent radio station manager Rebekah Lowe is collecting second-hand bras for “Operation Uplift” - an international service appeal to support indigenous Fijian women.
A chronic bra shortage has proved a major health risk to Fiji’s busty population. The average Fijian earns less than $4.50 an hour, while the cost of a new bra is about $40.
Many Fijian women can’t afford a bra and face medical issues from not wearing one in the humid climate.
It’s genuinely uplifting that people care about the breasts of others.
Labor of lust
Australian newspapers today carried reports of the American journalist Doug Brown and his wife Annie who had sex for 101 consecutive days.
Here is a link to an American newspaper report.
Interesting story. The couple are the same age as my wife and I. I’m not sure about writing a book on the subject though. It seems to rather cheapen the intimacy.
And I don’t really want to think about what their definition of “sex” was during Annie’s periods. Read the book, is their commercial answer, I guess.
Smoke alarms
A smoke alarm woke us up the other night. It wasn’t warning us about a fire ripping through the house, but rather its battery was running down.
That was the second time in a fortnight (separate alarms).
Why do smoke alarm battery warnings only start beeping at 3am? Why can’t they make that irritating sound in the afternoon?
Dream déjà vu
I had a dream a few weeks ago which I discounted as being simply imaginary … until I saw an illustration on Tuesday that made me reflect.
In the dream I was in Mount Gambier sometime in the past. I needed to go to the hospital. I can’t recall why, either to visit someone or because I worked there.
The hospital wasn’t easy to get to. I had to climb a steep hill (in the rain); there were no cars. What stuck in my mind though was the image of the hospital.
It was like a cross between a cathedral and a castle — a long stone building with arches and turrets. Read more
Cold and flu tablets
I’ve got my first major head cold for the year. It’s not surprising given that several staff were off sick at various times last week and the weather is “freeze your balls off” as one letter writer succinctly put it.
I know American bloggers think we’re soft when we complain about the cold, but today would have sent the shivers up just about anyone.
The wind chill meant it was effectively four degrees.
Anyhow, I ventured out at lunchtime to get some cold and flu tablets from the chemist, which sadly was half a mile away from the office. Read more
The mysteries of packaging
I sometimes wonder at the amount of packaging for certain products and how they are packaged.
Why do they stuff paper inside shoes, for example?
Why do plastic fruit juice containers have seals which need to be prised open with a crowbar?
Why do electronic gadgets come in plastic that’s harder to open than a medieval maiden’s chastity belt?
Why does a tub of noodles, which is adequately sealed, have an extra layer of flimsy plastic to get through before you can remove the cover?
Sigh.
Russian romance
I’ve been propositioned by a Russian woman, or at least someone claiming to be Russian.
“Olesya” sent me an email claiming to have discovered my details “in a site of acquaintances”. Google is very good at screening spam, but this one seems to have slipped through.
Olesya’s email address was (random=made up by me) pw”random”@auto-industrial.pt, hardly personal. Read more
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