Hoon problem

Posted on March 3, 2008 at 7:21pm | 2 comments

Western Australia has a hoon problem. It exists everywhere to some extent, I suppose, but I never encountered it in the parts of Victoria, New South Wales and South Australia I lived in previously.

Hoon activity can be doing a burnout; dangerous or reckless driving; racing another vehicle, speeding, and accelerating or braking and skidding wildly.

I think it’s fair to say WA is the hoon state of Australia and Kalgoorlie-Boulder is the hoon capital. I saw some figures last year which showed there were more hoon arrests here than anywhere else. (more…)

Newspaper novels: The truth will make you fret

Posted on October 29, 2007 at 12:18pm | 1 comment

There aren’t many novels about newspapers. Stories involving print journalists are far fewer than those about lawyers, soldiers and police for example.

That’s a little surprising when you consider that journalists are writers. But when you think about it, we are craftsmen while novelists are artists. We ply a trade while they follow their creative spirits. We have responsibilities, they don’t.

Three good books about newspapers come readily to mind. PG Wodehouse wrote Psmith, Journalist in 1915; Evelyn Waugh wrote Scoop in 1938 and Terry Pratchett published The Truth in 2000.

In Wodehouse’s classic, Psmith arrives in New York on a cricket tour and becomes involved with the home entertainment weekly “Cosy Moments” which he transforms into a hard-hitting investigative journal. He rides the bumps of organised crime and American politics along the way.

In Waugh’s story, scribe William Boot is mistaken by the publisher of the Daily Beast for a war correspondent. He is uprooted from writing country garden features to covering the civil war in Ishmaelia. Both novels are cleverly satirical.

Pratchett’s The Truth is a typically fantastic work from the author of the Discworld series. The hero in this case is William de Worde, who teams up with dwarfs to print the first newspaper in Ankh-Morpork.

As usual, Pratchett offers some tremendous insights into human nature. His observations of the newspaper profession are also very sharp, suggesting excellent research or personal knowledge. For instance, he offers a rare literary tribute to the unsung work of sub-editors.

I’ve just finished reading The Truth for the second time. I found the focus on hired assassins to be distracting and kept wanting the story to get back to the trials and tribulations of The Times.

There are some great one liners, like when the dwarfs make a typesetting error with the newspaper’s logo, which becomes: “The truth will make you fret”.

I related personally to the serial pest who kept coming into the office with remarkable vegetables. Anyone who has worked on a country newspaper will know there are people in most towns who like to show off their giant tomatoes or funny-shaped parsnips.

I admit it’s one of my long-term ambitions to write a satirical novel about newspapers. I started taking notes of strange but true incidents last year, like when one of my reporters disappeared while on the trail of visiting Mongolian detectives.

I have heaps of material; just need the time to write it.

If I ruled a country …

Posted on July 23, 2007 at 7:13pm | 0 comments

This is one of those five-question blog prompts. I first saw it on Synaptoman. The starting assumption is that you are the absolute ruler of a prosperous, stable country without any immediate threats, no poverty or unemployment.

That means I can answer this question safe in the knowledge I don’t need to interfere with the economy or the social structure. They must be working already.

1) I’d appoint an advisory council made up of community and industry leaders. I wouldn’t have to accept their advice, but I could not govern effectively without it.

2) I would guarantee the independence of the judiciary, appoint a powerful ombudsman and ensure the police force was properly organised and well paid.

3)  The only taxes would be a value-added tax and a bank debits tax.

4)  I would ensure free quality education to university level.

5) I would build an excellent public transport system and ban cars from city precincts.

National police certificate

Posted on December 11, 2006 at 5:45pm | 0 comments

I'm a member of the Hannans Rotary Club and it's now a requirement that Rotary members obtain a police clearance because we sometimes work with young people.

I think it's bureaurcracy gone made. We sponsor youth exchange programs but unless you're a host family (for which a police clearance is reasonable) we hardly have anything to do with young people.

I had a day off today and went to the police station for my National Police Certificate. After paying $43 I received a piece of paper saying that I do "not appear on the disclosable court history records of any Australian Police Jurisdiction". That's reassuring.

I haven't had many encounters with police.

The first was when I was about 11 years old. A friend and I were playing on the railway embankment in Traralgon near the old hospital. We learnt that if you placed a five cent piece on the railway line for a train to run over it the result was a flat piece of metal.

The train driver must have thought we were rascals planning to derail the Gippslander and called the cops, who seemed quite satisified with our explanation. Nevertheless I'm pleased it didn't show on my National Police Certificate that I'm a suspected terrorist who once threatened to blow up a locomotive.

Thinking of that experience, it seems a clever way to convert coins to base metal and could become popular as coins are now worth more than their face value for the first time in years!

The next time I met the police was when riding my bike home from squash in Traralgon in the early 80s. I didn't have lights on my bike and took off down a side street when I saw a police car. They followed me and gave me a serve. That's not on my record either, fortunately.

That side street, which was a dirt track to nowhere, is now the road past the Kmart shopping centre and ASIC.

The Fifth Woman

Posted on January 19, 2006 at 8:43pm | 0 comments

The Fifth Woman is the first novel that I’ve read by Swedish crime writer Henning Mankel. I saw a positive review of his work in The Age last year and purchased the book while in Melbourne between Christmas and New Year.

His main character, Inspector Kurt Willander, is a thoughtful introspective man who reflects on societal change while solving murder mysteries.

This particular book was different to anything I’ve read by British or American authors. There wasn’t a build up of suspense, but more an unravelling of why certain things had to be.

Willander gradually comes to understand that three brutal murders were committed by a woman seeking revenge against men who abuse women. (more…)

Zimbabwe comes close to home

Posted on December 9, 2005 at 8:20pm | 0 comments

I’ve written a few times about Zimbabwe. Today, there’s a personal touch to the comments I make.

I visited Zimbabwe in 1991 when it was a prosperous happy country and before Mugabe went bananas.

My employer at the time, a Victorian farming newspaper, encouraged me to write some freelance articles about the agricultural situation while I was there. (more…)

Houses torched in cricket conflict

Posted on December 3, 2005 at 6:20pm | 2 comments

Cricket is a marvellous game. It ignites passions, as this report from the CricInfo web site confirms:

Nearly 400 people have been injured in a village in Bangladesh in a series of clashes over controversial umpiring decisions in a cricket match between two rural teams. At least one man is reported to have died while a dozen houses were torched in the scuffle.

Paramilitary Bangladesh Rifles and police fired gun shots and tear gas shells on Thursday to disperse a fighting mob from a village near Brahmanbaria district town, 100 km from Dhaka.

“More than 200 people were admitted to different hospitals with injuries,” a police inspector was quoted as saying in a Reuters report. “The victim succumbed to stab injuries while being shifted to Dhaka for higher treatment.”

The rival villagers used guns, sticks and whatever weapons came to hand in sporadic clashes that began on Tuesday.

Delayed television footage showed hundreds of people carrying sticks and fighting on a newly harvested paddy ground at Sarail. The clashes continued through the day and night before the police and paramilitaries went into action in the village.

“The situation is now under control,” the inspector continued, “but scores of people were injured and huge properties were damaged.”

My comment: It’s a pity the Bangladesh national team doesn’t play with the same passion.

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