With thanks to Julianne:
1. The Japanese eat very little fat
And suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
And suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
And suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
And suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats
And suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
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Wow. That’s a good one!