West Adelaide had a good win over South Adelaide today at Richmond Oval. My enjoyment of the game was heightened by listening to the colorful commentary of a one-eyed Panthers fan.
The beanie-clad barracker stopped near me just before the game to discuss racing tips with a mate.
He spent most of the first half berating the umpires, who to be frank were equally bad to both teams.
He disappeared during the third quarter, probably to place his bets, but returned for the final term, in which the Bloods piled on six goals to one.
The passionate Panther gave the umpires some respite in the last quarter and rounded on his team instead.
These are some of the gems I remembered afterwards:
- Who’s on him, the invisible man?
- That’s right, just stand there and wave your arms in the air, that’ll scare him.
- There’s more pressure in my Dad’s bedroom, and he’s 80.
- You’re softer than margarine.
- You didn’t earn your money today, give it to charity.
- There’s more pressure in my garden hose.
- You’re too small umpire. Go back to school and finish Year 11.
This type of barracker used to be fairly common when I watched VFL games in the 70s and 80s, but I haven’t heard one this good for a long time. The type needs terraces to roam and he needs to get close enough to the fence for players and umpires to hear him.
All-seat stadiums pretty much hastened his extinction.
But you may be lucky enough to hear the distinctive call of the rare species at a SANFL ground on a Saturday afternoon, especially if South Adelaide is playing.